Love And Hate
by xxforgetme
Summary: When you love the one you hate, when you're drawn to forbidden territory, your choices are limited. LirexRyan, oneshot for now. Read and review.


**Disclaimer: I do not own GC or any of its rights; I just own my story plot and any other OC characters. (:**

**Dedicated to Yuki! O_o Your welcome. **

**Soo...I'm trying a new style of writing...so it might be a bit weird. **

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Lire's POV

I had watched him fill out before my eyes, his sturdy and firm build contrasting hugely against his scrawny form from when he was 5. I had watched his clear, honest eyes become filled with malice and coldness, and his pride blossom more and more throughout the years. I had seen every harsh act he had ever done throughout his school years, every taunting word he had said to the others, but what made me stand by him?

Was it the way his cold gaze softened slightly when he reached mine? Or was it the way his expressionless face faltered slightly when he saw me? I prided myself on reading his face, but what good was that when I couldn't stop his violence? I had tried to stay away from him.

_Lire, he is not good for you. Walk away before you are in too deep. _

But every time I tried, every time I repelled myself against him, I ended up being flung back to the same spot I was in before.

Like magnets, we were.

And for this reason, I hated him.

**Ryan's POV**

I do not remember much of my childhood. It was a shame, because _she _had always told me that my happiest memories were buried into your youngest years.

So why did I forget, when I all I remember is the sickening present? I did not want to hurt them. But what could I have done? I needed to gain dominance, to gain status and ties throughout this measly school, and fear was my best option. Of course I wouldn't hurt _her_, and my best friends. I would never do that.

Wouldn't I?

She had told me I was proud and sometimes a jerk. I swatted it away, my pride clouding any judgement of myself. I questioned her sanity when she had screamed at me, flinging harsh words that lingered even after they were lost, lost in this prideful shield that I had created.

In my world, it was nothing but me and a tiny smidgen of her.

**Lire's POV**

I watched him and his best friends fling a whimpering girl down to the ground, crashing her into a dustbin mercilessly as she sobbed, tears dripping down her face.

I watched as Ronan, tough and unbeatable as he was hesitate for a second before swinging his fist and cracking her jaw. Did they honestly think that violence was the answer? Ryan had tainted all of them. Ronan was like a patch of fresh dirt, waiting for the right flower to come in it. Instead of a beautiful rose, or a fragrant jasmine he got a thriving weed, planted in midst of his innocence.

And you know what?

I think Ryan was the weed.

You know, I used to admire his confidence. The way he would backchat to the teacher, the way he would stroll into the school with an admirable air around him. But after a while, I could see this was the exact reason he had become the person he was.

_There is no such thing as too much confidence. _The person who wrote that quote had obviously never met Ryan.

'You will never threaten me again.' Ryan's sharp voice broke through my thoughts.

The girl nodded sullenly as she scampered off, leaving a trail of blood in her wake. They slapped fives as they climbed limberly over the fence, jumping back down onto the dust-ridden path that winded its way back to school.

'Why did you hurt her?' I asked, carefully searching his face before he snorted loudly.

'She must understand who's in charge...' he said this with an absent-minded tone, as if he had had to explain it a thousand times. I forced myself to nod, as his emerald eyes bore deeply into my soul.

I walked back to the school alone, leaving the others to jeer over their small victory. What made me feel this way about him? Why couldn't I just leave him and get on with my life? I had spent 11 years waiting for him. But he was my gravity.

My pull on reality, on life. How did something so important turn out to be a mistake?

I watched Ronan's blue head bob quietly in the distance. His face was bitter and cold as he spat words directly in front of a red-head's face.

'I told you Elesis. I'm BUSY.' He snarled harshly as tears sprang down Elesis's cheeks.

'But you promised..' she retaliated weakly, flinching as he shot her an ice cold glare. 'Later.' he said, before joining the others as Elesis whispered something under her breath and ran out of the courtyard.

I shot a sympathetic look at Elesis before catching up to Ronan. 'Why did you do that?' I asked, gazing into his indigo eyes.

'Do what?' he shot back, oblivious to any hurt he had ever inflicted and turned back to Ryan.

'You just hurt her, like you hurt every other person in this school. Do you have any respect?' I rambled at him, as he raised an eyebrow. 'I thought you were different...' I whispered.

'Lire, you have to stop trying to find the best in people. Because you will get disappointed in the end.' His eyes held a hint of betrayal? Wistfulness? I stopped searching and the reality of his words hit me like a ton of bricks.

_You'll get disappointed in the end._

Ryan's eyes were locked to mine for a second and I felt the familiar tingle in my stomach. It was all so confusing. I felt so drawn to him, so connected. And the way he was looking at me...made my cheeks warm instantly. I tried as hard as I could to force myself to look away, but my gaze was locked to his, unbreakable like steel bars.

**Ryan's POV**

There she was now, her long lashes brushing gently across her flushed cheeks as her large brown eyes w to my cold jade ones.

I can see the hints of flecked gold in them, making them all the most mysterious. If there was a stone like them, I would buy it and give to her as a present. But then again, the boys might think the gesture as weird, maybe even tease me a bit. I brushed the errant thought away like a fly and broke my stare at her, a fluttery feeling erupting into my chest as she hung her head, her long, light locks of pure spun gold hanging down in a cute mess.

She brushed a stray bang from her forehead, her cheeks flushing a delicate pink as she caught me looking. I won't get distracted by her. She is nothing but an obstacle to pass on my way to get the glory.

We both know deep inside our hearts that this is a lie.

**Lire's POV**

I followed him to his house, finding the motive a bit stalker-wise, but I shrugged the thought off, looking back instinctively. I watched him through the glass pane of his house, reminiscing about the days where we used to play blocks on his mowed lawn. Those days were simple and carefree, but he told me he does not remember any of it. I don't believe him. I don't believe him at all.

The first time I saw him was as clear as yesterday, etched into the back of my mind forever.

'_Hi.' The young boy in front of me looked shy and scared as he clutched his mother's hand. _

_'Go on!' The smiling woman prodded, as she tried to encourage him. _

_'Um. My name is Ryan...' he added helpfully as I stared into his deep eyes. _

_'Hi...I'm Lire.' I said warmly in my sweet 5-year old voice, skipping towards him as his eyes widened in shock. _

_'Mommy, I can't play with a girl!' He complained suddenly as the woman frowned at him. I looked offended and sauntered off towards the playroom. After a few hours of stubborn silence, I felt a light tap on my shoulder and spun back to face the green-eyed boy again. _

_'Um...Can I play with you?' he sounded so helpless and cute, I couldn't help but oblige._

His eyes. Oh his deep, willing green eyes that made my heart pound ferociously with every blink it made. I had loved his eyes from the day I had saw him, and our parents had often joked about gouging them out and selling them as jewels. I had been against the idea deeply, not aware of the humour involved and had thrown a big fit outside Ryan's house, but he had comforted me with a large hug, that always would wipe my fears away.

If only he would realise his mistakes and turn back into the kind and honest person he was before, not full of violence and bloodlust. If only he would see how much I had been drawn to him…

_Yes if only…If only I could break free of him…_

His taut, lean body stretched as he prepared to sluice the dummy with his large axe, gracefully sliding the axe into the dummy's 'heart'. His eyes were concentrated and fixed onto the dummy as he lurched towards it like a lithe cat. His pointy pricked at the sound of my rustling as he transformed into a large wolf.

I always loved Ryan when he was a wolf. His soft white fur against his melting olive eyes that held no trace of sadism gave her hope that he would go back to the person he was before. He came over to me and nuzzled my neck, then transformed back to his human form.

'Stop spying on me.' he said in a hostile voice, his eyes darting from my head to toe. 'I wasn't.' His eyebrow twitched slightly, as he spoke.

'Go away.' A normal person would of tried to read him and failed, for his expression was frozen in a calming smirk. But I could read him like a book.

His face was pained. Ryan was in pain.

'What happ-?' I broke off as he crushed his lips to mine, his breath tickling my face. The kiss lasted for a few seconds, I guess but I felt as if the passion could have burnt down the whole forest. After I regained part of my sanity, he was gone.

Gone like the forest wind that he so carefully embraced, gone like a ghost coming back to haunt me.

**Ryan's POV**

I was so overwhelmed by her. Her taste, her touch the feel of her silken hair and her brown, concerned eyes.

I could feel her surprise as I inched my face to hers, pressing my lips onto her soft ones as her doe eyes widened with shock. I savoured it while it lasted, breathing in her warm forest scent that I loved but couldn't say. And it pained me to know that I was burdening her with my pride. It wasn't that my pride was more important than her…or maybe it was?

I had tried so hard not to hurt her, but it turned out I had been hurting her all along.

**Lire's POV**

I glared suspiciously at Ryan and the girl. They were talking to each other, as the girl laughed forcefully, batting her eyelashes in a sickening manner that made me puke.

It wasn't that I was jealous, I just sensed something like betrayal in the air. Which was really quite silly because I had no loyalty to him. So why did I feel like lopping the other girls head off?

I glanced down, clenching my teeth on the tough piece of harpy meat, viciously stabbing the yellowed vegetables on my plate. I stared at Ronan, who was slapping a young boy in his face for pushing in front of him in the dining line. The Ryan weed was striking again, as he watched them with a cool demeanour.

I was such a hypocrite.

Because his weed was planted in me as well, and even if escaping it was tenuously possible, I wasn't sure I would want to.

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**Um. I really don't think I will continue this...It's probably just a oneshot. So...enjoy and don't be disappointed.**

**-R**


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